Tricks of the Trade

I listen to a lot of conservative radio.  Not as much as i used to, but sometimes.  In doing this, i've learned that there are three tricks that nearly every wingnut host these days uses.

1.)  The Calculated Bellow:  You know what that is.  Every segment, with few exceptions, begins at normal volume.  Then they get more intense, a bit louder and faster.... with the occasional... dramatic pause... so that the extent... of the damage the homosexuals.... are.... doing to the nation... can sink... in.  And then, there's a few words that are said LOUDER than the rest, and then they all become LOUD.  LOUD SO YOU KNOW.  HOW ANGRY AND PASSIONATE THEY ARE.  BECAUSE THEY JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.  ....then silence.   Then back to normal volume.... for a bit... until the next one.

2.) The 20/20 Hindsight:  All right-wing hosts are genius prognosticators, able to divine the future with perfect accuracy.  They do this by a steady process of predicting both outcomes at different times.  My friends, the vibrations are right, Romney is slipping in to the Presidency, he will be President on January 10th, take that to the bank.... also, Obama will win.  The Democratic corrupt machine is too powerful to overcome at this point, ACORN, minorities, moochers! 

......and as i said, my friends, Romney lost, just as i predicted.

3.) The Greased Pig:  Nearly all talk show hosts are just looking for callers to agree with them and say how brilliant and insightful they are.  When faced with any sort of dissent or chance for debate, they instantly squash it with a rapid-fire series of dodges and deflections.  It goes like this...

Caller: "....one thing i agree with them on, is that we spend way more money on the military than we ought to, and...."

Host: "Is that so?  What is the percentage of GDP that went for military spending in 2012?"

Caller: "...uh, well, i don't know the exact percentage, but the US spends more than the next..."

Host: "Oh, so you have no idea?  NONE WHATSOEVER."

Caller: "...my point is, if we were serious about the debt, we'd...."

Host: "You've already proved your ignorance!  You have no idea what you're talking about!  Tell me this, did you know, in your ignorance, that our actual defense spending is LESS than than the average rate per capita for western nations if deducted by a prime percent of inverse coalition?  And that any reductions would be proportionate to the increased terror factor?  Huh?"

Caller: "....what?  I..."

Host: "Get him out of here!  He doesn't know anything!  I'm done with you, buddy!  Next caller!"

It really is sick to listen to.  Savage.  Levin.  Ralph Bristol.  Theater for the weak-willed, the easily gulled, and the mushy-brained rubes.

Kinda entertaining.

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