Prometheus?

Prometheus.  It's old news now.  Just another movie that i missed when it was in theaters, and i felt bad because i was no doubt missing an irreplaceable theatrical experience...

...i don't feel so bad anymore.

This movie is kind of dumb.  I mean, the visuals are great and all, and it's a good ride to see it once, but it's one of those films that i don't see myself ever watching again.  I feel like they could have done more than the same old "scientific team assembles and then explores an environment, and discovers nothing but hostile monstrosities."  We've seen it a million times.  The characters expect that they might find a shining world of benevolent alien creators but are shocked to find monsters, but the audience already pretty much knew that was going to happen.  No real surprises.

All the characters are dumb and make no sense.  

Old Man Weyland funds a trillion-dollar mission on some longshot quest to find an alien creator in the hope that they'll nicely save him from death?  Ridiculous.  It would make more sense to stay home, go into cryosleep, and wait for your team of scientists to develop a way to transplant your brain into a robot body.  That can't be that hard to do in 2094.  And once he arrived, he should have seen that there was no thriving society of aliens that might possibly help him, just a single straggler in a desperate situation himself.  And yet he marched right in.  There's no way anyone is this stupid!  It's like finding a lone bloody starving savage on a desert island and saying "hey, maybe he can perform open-heart surgery on me!  He's a human, right?  Humans can perform heart surgery, this guy can probably help me."  And then the savage stabs you with a sharp goat bone and you're like, hey, that's mean, now i'm gonna die probably.

And that old man makeup was awful.

Shaw, after seeing everyone else die, and resigned to the unfathomable horror of slowly dying alone on a hostile planet, is offered a reasonable chance to return home, which any person would take.... and instead, she vows to venture off on some impossible quest with a severed android head -- an android who has proved that he is capable of despicable actions and cannot be trusted?  Oh.  Sure.  She could return to earth with the knowledge of the alien's homeworld, and urge humanity to send out a proper ambassadorial mission to the aliens... but no, she and the David head can do it all by themselves.  Hey, bring on the sequel.  Shaw and David go in search of a clearly hostile alien race to ask them why they're such meanies.

The hoodie scientist, who is shown to be logical and skeptical in his one line of character development, is immediately entranced by an alien snake?  Ooooh!  Alien snake, so beautiful, i want to pet it.  I'm sure it's not venomous or dangerous like our earth snakes, no, it's probably a friendly snake that will do good things to me. 

What the fuck.  

This movie.  Looks great, kinda dumb.

( At least Charlize Theron is hot and and Noomi Rapace is cute.  Especially in her medical bandage underwear.  Leeloo Dallas multi-pass!)


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