Michael Bay

I just read that Michael Bay is making a new movie version of "Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles" and the Megan Fox is going to play April O'Neil.  I shudder, but then i think... you know what?  Good.  I'm glad that Michael Bay is keeping busy destroying properties that i liked as a kid, but really couldn't give a crap about now.  Some adults retain their affection for the Turtles or the Transformers, but thankfully i'm not one of those sad bastards. 

You know what they should let Bay ruin next?  Voltron.  Come on, that'd be epic.  MORE giant robots and explosions.  And the five young pilots would all be, you know, hip and extreme mad bustas or whatever.  The leader would be a jock with a heart of gold, naturally, and there'd be a hyperactive nerd who can hack everything with his iPad, and a craaaaaazy whack black dude who'd be loud and cowardly and stuff, and the girl pilot would be this total radical awesome slut who wants to fuck the jock, and she'd be played by Megan Fox, and then there'd be a fifth one, i don't know, wasn't there a big fat guy?  Yeah, one of the original pilots was a fat guy.  So he'd just be this fatass who tries to eat everything.  And his Voltron Lion would also be fat.  And at one point the fat Lion would sit on a bad guy and crush him with his gigantic ass.  My god... this would be the ultimate team. 

Jock.  Nerd.  Black Guy.  Slut.  Fat Guy.

Together they would form the ultimate Voltron, and they'd be fighting.  Uh.  Robot aliens.  Who cares.

KAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOM.

$893,000,000 domestic, $1,382,000,000 worldwide gross.

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