Nutsack registration

As a liberal, i obviously tend to envision the future optimistically and hope for a cleaner, more technologically-advanced world with well-ordered cities and a generally Star Trek-ish air.  I'm not holding out for teleporters and holodecks, but you know what i mean. A feature of this world would be an atmosphere of sexual freedom, in which people could engage in all manner of consensual relations with partners of their choosing, free of shame -- and that birth control would be perfected to a level in which children are not born accidentally, but are created by parents who genuinely want to have them.  This would lead hopefully to a gradual leveling-off of the world population, because isn't 10 billion people at any given time enough?

Say this to a conservative, and they begin to hallucinate some nightmare Gattaca scenario of state-created clone drones, mass abortion, sterilization, nutsack registration, booby gestapos, and the CRIMINALIZATION OF LOVE AND FREEDOM, OHHH NOOOOOOOOOO!

Silly, that.

See, conservatives have a different vision of how sex fits into human life.  It goes something like this:  when your penis gets hard or your vag gets excited, it's evil and you should ignore it because you're a dirty, sinful, perverted creature abhorred by the Sky God.  You should never fuck, but if you do, it's best done surreptiously and shamefully, maybe in the back of a car or in a hay loft.  And it won't be safe sex, because sex is evil but influencing the course of the wicked fluids is even MORE evil.  So just go with it. The only happy result of all this sticky sin is that she'll eventually get pregnant, and if she's a decent woman she'll marry you and fuck only you forever.  And if she doesn't, she's a slutful whore.  So you get married in the Sky God Temple, and the priest mutters some words that erase your sin, and turn you into good citizens.  And the accidental baby that you didn't want is followed by another, which means that your irresponsible ass gets a job at the sausage factory, because you weren't going to do anything interesting with your life anyway.  And so you work, and buy things, and spend one day a week at the Temple to atone for your further sins, and pump out many more babies, because at some point we're gonna have another war and the war machine will need some young bodies to feed it.  And don't forget, we gotta outbreed the Chinese and Muslins -- if there's a billion Muslins, we need two billion Amuricans, damnit!

Ah, the most beautiful life imaginable.  That is how life must be, and how it must be forever.

How dare you queers and libs and hippies and lesbian poets and masturbating fornicators not want that. 

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