Friday, November 08, 2013

I am Souperman

I still haven't seen Man of Steel yet -- except for a few minutes of it on a friend's cel phone -- but i'm already disappointed that the sequel will apparently feature both Superman AND Batman... and did someone say Wonder Woman as well?

Lame.

I really am anti-crossover.  Crossovers are useless.  I don't want Batman to meet Superman, i don't want the Predator to fight Aliens, i don't want Harry Potter to team up with Robocop.  Has a crossover ever been anything but forgettable and gimmicky?  It reminds me of the type of random scenarios that we'd come up while drawing at our desks in 4th grade -- hey, Scottie, what if the Mario Brothers met the Ninja Turtles, who'd win in a fight?  Shredder would totally beat Bowser!  That sort of thinking should vanish when you become an adult and learn how not to be stupid.

I just don't like the idea that Bats and Supes live on the same earth.  It doesn't fit.  If Superman existed, the people of Gotham would be talking about him all the time, because he'd be the biggest news story in the world.  Batman's crusades against local gangsters would be bumped to page six because the headline of the Gotham Times would be something like RUSSIANS DEMAND TALKS WITH SUPERMAN or NASA HOPES SUPERMAN WILL HELP DETECT NEAR-EARTH ASTEROIDS or maybe just NO ONE HAS SEEN SUPERMAN IN WEEKS, WHERE IS THE MAN OF STEEL?

Superman is too overwhelming and he blocks out everything else like the freakin' sun.  Bruce Wayne's whole life quest only makes sense in a world where there are no costumed heroes, where he's one man engaged in some impossible ongoing struggle against corruption and violence.  When he puts on his suit in Batman Begins, it's something that no one has ever done before.  If Superman was flying around out there, Alfred would just cock his head to the side and ask "who do you think you are, Master Bruce?  Superman with ears?"

It's all just... messy and pointless.  Look, it's entirely possible that at some point, J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis could have sat down, and said, "hey, what if we write a book where Frodo and Gandalf travel to Narnia, meet the Pevensie kids, and have some kind of adventure where they stop, i dunno, some random villain?  The wouldn't get along at first, of course, but then they'd overcome their differences and come together for the common good..."

That would be horrible.

Wouldn't it?

But don't get me wrong, it's not that i'm going to automatically hate the next Superman movie just because Batman is in it, and that he's going to be an Affleck Batman at that.  Might be fun?  The tragedy is that this goofy-ass movie is going to take the place of something much cooler -- a superior sequel where Lex Luthor is finally made into a real, convincing villain, and engages Superman in a battle of wits for the soul of humanity using his incredible intellect -- a Superman film that has the same power as, say, The Dark Knight.

Whatever Superman/Batman is, it won't be that.

4 comments:

Kagekatsu said...

DC is trying to create a cinematic universe similar to Marvel's in the hopes of building up towards an Justice League film. Of course, time well tell if they are as successful.

Still, I really liked Man of Steel so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt if they can pull this off.

Unknown said...

Yeah, i guess they have to try. I can never remember what characters are Marvel and which are DC... Green Lantern? Hawk Girl? Martian Manimal?

Kagekatsu said...

It's Martian Manhunter

Unknown said...

Martin Maneater. That's what i said.