Enter Videodrome

Superbowl commercials.  They suck.  People who pay attention to them suck.  For the last 5 years, every Superbowl has been the same for me.  I wake up at 8:00pm, right at the start of the third quarter.  I ask my brother how the halftime show was, and he says it sucked because he's not impressed by anything.  I make a cup of coffee and watch the game for ten minutes before drifting off to my computer.  Then one of the teams win, and i don't care.

Then i go to work and am thankful that no one is talking about the game or the commercials.  Bless my coworkers.

I also can't stand talk of reality TV.  I know a few people who watch reality TV ironically, knowing that it is bad and glorying in the badness of it.  I can't judge them, really, because i like bad movies.  I can be very amused by horrible, old sci-fi and action films (fuck, why is Eliminators not on netflix?  I need to see it again before i die!)  But that's one type of badness, it's an artful badness, more palatable to me than the badness of reality TV.

Reality TV... it's like.... okay, a huge, rambling metaphor for you.... it's like there's one restaurant in town.  You've been going to this restaurant your entire life because it's just tradition, everyone in town eats at this place.  But over the years, the food gets worse and worse, the place gets noisier and more annoying.  Once, polite middle-aged people dined here with their children.  They told long-winded stories and corny jokes.  It was kinda square, but decent.  But over the years it devolves into a Hooters-type establishment, filled with guffawing frat boys and random skanks, and the menu ceases to feature salads and sandwiches and now only has deep-fried unhealthy garbage.  And one day, you enter the restaurant, and a waiter empties a pail of festering pig slop into a table that resembles a trough.  He sneers at you and says, "eat that, you goddamned swine!  Suuu-iiieeee!"  You look around and see that the other customers are shirtless and unkempt and happily lapping up the filthy slop.  The waiters chuckle and say to themselves, "look at them, they'll eat anything.  Stupid fucking pigs."  The customers grunt in agreement. 

At that point, i stand up and leave the restaurant.  I shall go to the grocery store and cook for myself from now on.

That's how i feel about television these days.  I can't stomach it.  I never thought i'd be a hipster who claims not to watch TV, but.... well, here we are.

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