Global something-or-other

So.... last night, it was 70 degrees at midnight with summer-like thunderstorms rolling in. 

Tonight, some light snow.  Yeah, the weather is broken.  We never should have invented hairspray.  Or something. 

At least i haven't hears any of the local yokels giggle and sneer at the idea of climate change.  Even Cletus and Bubba are beginning to realize that something is up.

Twitter.
Behance.
LinkedIn.
Facebook.
CGTalk.
Pinterest.

Nerd Rage

So JJ Abrams is going to direct Star Wars?  I don't really care, because i'm so over Star Wars, but it seems like a bad idea.  I've kind of come to detest JJ Abrams.  Lost and Super 8 are the work of a carnival barker who teases you with a web of mysteries and then forgets you after you're inside the tent.  Super 8, especially.  I saw the movie and thought it was okay, but then later i saw the infamous preview that didn't say a peep about aliens -- it was a scintillating montage of mystery, nostalgia, childhood, magic, spiritual awakening, my god, what unfathomable secrets are buried in this film?  It's so tremendous it would burn our faces like the Ark of the Covenant if we dared release it!  That!  What was that?!

...and then it turned out to be an alien.  Kind of a cousin of Cloverfield.  Blah.  It made me mad.  It was a scam.

As for his Star Trek movie, it was slick and fun, but now i don't ever think about it and don't really feel like watching it again.  Disposable.  So now he gets to recreate Star Wars too?  Both?  That's too much power for one competent but visionless huckster.  I don't like it.  Oh, god, i can see him now, in interviews, rattling on about how "we wanted to streamline the Star Wars universe, kind of get away from all the mythology and tragedy, and create a new paradigm, something sleeker and hipper, more in tune with today's zeitgeist, with really sharp and penetrating dialogue... i looked at the lightsaber and asked myself, what really is it?  Who made it?  Probably some 11-year old supergenius from the suburbs of Coruscant, sort of a proto-Steve Jobs, a kid with a lot of spirit and snark, and that was the genesis of the Joe'h Baumer character..."

Maybe i'm wrong.  I don't know.  I just wish they'd given control of Star Wars to an older, more ponderous director.  Ridley Scott or someone.  Anyone.  There had to be anyone else.

Grrrrrr.

Twitter.
Behance network.
LinkedIn.
Facebook.
CGTalk.

Sarah Palin goes parasailin'.

Huh, Sarah Palin has officially left FOX News.  I guess she's going even rogue-ier.  The teabaggers like to claim that our political overclass drove her away somehow, because they are hereditary lords who won't allow a "common citizen" to grab the reins of power.  Nah.  I think it's just a case of a common citizen being overwhelmed by sudden money.  I'm no different.  If i had some kind of whirlwind year where i ended up with 5 or 10 million in the bank, i would intend to work hard and further my artistic career... but then if you tried to find me in six months, i'd be in Tokyo, or London, or Whistler, British Columbia... just eatin' expensive sushi and trying to score with foreign chicks.  And learning to ski.  And going to a lot of concerts.  Dude, you've got to come to BC and try this sushi, it's amaaaazing!  Let's go skiing!


I'm sure i'd return to the world of arting at some point, but i'd have to get really bored with sushi.  And skiing.  And chicks.  Because i'd have never had that kind of money before, and the possibilities would be too much to handle.

As for the teabaggers, it's funny to see them try to twist the fabric of reality to make a universe in which Sarah Palin is an average citizen, but Barack Obama was born to be a hereditery lord.  In this universe, they were born about equal, regular people from non-privileged families, and both coincidentally born in one of our rare noncontiguous states.  They ran a race and one lost and the other won.  No!  they scream, Obama was born to obscene privilege and raised by George Soros and Bill Ayers and and secret cabal of lefty powermongers and groomed since birth and given the Presidency!  He's utter royalty somehow!  This has to be true or my worldview is suddenly for shit!

Come back to reality, my pretties.  Come back.

Or not.

In fact, go wherever Sarah Palin is going.

Away.  Away from here.

Twitter.
Behance Gallery.
LinkedIn.
Facebook.
CGTalk.

Evolve or die.

Dear Republican Party, some words from a 34-year old hardworking white male -- someone whose vote you should have a chance of getting...

...it's not your "message" or your "tone" that's the problem.  It's your policies and your philosophies, the things you claim are just fine and don't need to be changed.  They are the problem.  Let's review...

-- Needless wars of aggression.

-- Tax cuts for the rich, tax increases for the poor.

-- Bigoted opposition to gay marriage.

-- Xenophobic immigration policies.

-- No viable deficit reduction plans.

-- Endless obstruction in Congress.

-- Weird cavemanish views on abortion.

-- Not that good on civil liberties.

-- Asinine drug policies.

-- Vile standard bearers like Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, George Bush.

....yeah.  Presenting these in a different "tone" isn't going to sway me.  Evolve or die.

Twitter.
 Behance Network.
LinkedIn.
Facebook.
CGTalk.

Race for the Prize

Right-wingers are funny when it comes to race.   For instance, why do they all seem angry at Django Unchained?  Typically they enjoy westerns and other movies where people shoot each other with guns.  I've heard them namecheck Dirty Harry, John Wayne, and Charles Bronson as the kind of men we need in America.  But something about this Django movie seems to rub them the wrong way.

But never mind movies.  In the real world, people are making a big deal about Obama being inaugurated on the anniversary of MLK day and noting the historical poeticness or whatever about it.  This makes right-wingers MAD.  They don't like it at all.  In the past few days, i've read the following from our teabaggy friends...

• Race doesn't exist, it's a social construct, not a scientific one.  No true conservative EVER has cared about race or discriminated against anyone in history on the basis of race.  If they did, they're not true conservatives.  Democrats are the only people who differentiate on race, which is a false thing that doesn't even exist, and they use it solely to get tax dollars that aren't theirs and also to make US look like racists.  Which we cannot possibly ever be, scientifically.
• Obama doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Martin Luther King!  MLK was a conservative in his heart, and Obama is not.  Obama hasn't had to STRUGGLE like Martin Luther King.  Why, by all accounts, he had a pretty normal childhood that didn't involve starvation or beatings.  He didn't suffer enough!  He doesn't deserve anything!  The only way he could deserve this honor was if he grew up in some horrible segregated nation, and he lived in the poisoned forest eating worms and bugs until he could raise some kind of Gullah Jack Army and take Washington DC by force.  Conquer the white man and seize the presidency.  Only then could i respect him.
• I'm not black but if i was i'd be mad as hell at this "fucking fraud" and would let everyone know that he doesn't speak for me and my proud black family who rejects welfare.  He's not even really black, he's half-black.  And he hasn't struggled enough.  My god, did you hear what they were eating at the Obama "coronation?"  Lobster and bison!  That's expensive.  Not deserved.  How dare they steal my tax money to pay for that.  Spam on crackers, that's all these liberals deserve!  They're not better than me!

^__^

Paraphrases, of course, but that's what i'm reading between the lines.

Please, conservatives.  Continue.

Twitter.
Behance Gallery.
LinkedIn.
Facebook.
CGTalk.

Inauguration

Ah, a good day. 

Well, there were many crappy things that happened.  You ever had a toilet overflow on you, and realize that the plunger your workplace provides is not a real plunger?  It's a cheap piece of inflexible plastic about 1/2" deep, so it looks like a plunger but doesn't actually, you know, plunge.

But i can overlook these things, because i got to watch Barack Obama be inaugurated today.  And i imagined how i'd feel if i was watching a smirking Mitt Romney take that oath.  I would be in a mood so foul that no overflowing toilet could match it.

Four more years.

Meanwhile, on Supertalk 99.7, Bill Cunningham is bellowing that we need to bring back starvation, so that lazy poor people will get some initiative.  Seriously, if they and their kids were starving on the streets while everyone else avoided them, things would be better.  Away with ye, ragged starveling!  Are there no prisons?  No poor houses?

And Republicans wonder why people won't vote for them.

Twitter.
Behance Gallery.
LinkedIn.
Facebook.
CGTalk.

There's no bottom

So the latest word from the wingnut ranks is this -- 1776 is about to recommence!  We are at the tipping point where people of America must arm themselves and prepare to shoot at incoming invaders!  Hey, there, Cletus, did you know that state Sheriffs can instantly deputize any patriotic man who own a firearm? This is the endgame, my friends -- when Obama unleashes his forces to seize your guns, your Sheriff will sound the alarm and you will be called to serve the people. And don't worry, you won't be defending your homes from American Joes -- we all know that they'll refuse to follow his orders, so you'll be facing UN troops, or possibly Chinese troops. They're coming, make no mistake. But they will face hundreds of thousands of homegrown patriots ready to rumble.

This is not an exaggeration. There is no bottom with these people. No bottom ever.

I wish someone would explain it to them. Look, there are two plausible outcomes here. The most likely being that nothing at all will happen. Slightly less likely is that certain weapons and high-capacity magazines and clips will be banned, and that background checks will be required at gun shows. No big deal. Gun stores will not be shuttered. Anyone who wants a pistol, rifle, or shotgun will still be able to get them easily. The only people whose lives will change will be the serious gun hobbyists who try to impress one another down at the range with the latest and most powerful guns they can afford. They will join the same club as kiddie porn enthusiasts and hoarders of dangerous and exotic animals. They'll scream about how their freedom has been curtailed in this, the land of the free, and no one else will care.

Relax, rednecks.

Relax.

Twitter.

Behance Gallery.

LinkedIn.

Facebook.

CG Talk.

CD's Nuts

Wow, moving to a newer, cleaner, bigger, better apartment is a great thing.  I'm very happy this week, even though i had to work seven days AND move everything.  Name one other person who's done that in history.  And now.... it's time to reorganize my needlessly massive CD collection. I have too many CD's. Nobody needs this many GusGus albums. I was looking through the lot just now and realized how different things were in the CD era, when you'd take a risk and drop $16 on a disc because there was one song you liked, and you had to see if the rest of the album was just as good. "Forest for the Trees' Dream is the coolest song ever! What other delights await me on the full album?"

Not to mention the random albums you'd only buy because they were only four bucks at a used CD place. "Melanie C's solo album? The cover is nice. I bet the other Spice Girls were just holding her back."

Or the singles you bought from albums you already owned because you had to have the b-sides. "I don't even like Disposable Teens, but how else am i going to hear Astonishing Panorama of the End Times? You can tell from the title that this song is epic!"

Not to mention all the drunken impulse buys. Grand National. The Good, the Bad, and the Queen. Tom Middleton. Deep Forest. Danielle Brisebois. Venus Hum. D-12. E.S. Posthumus. Neon Genesis Evangelion soundtracks.

It all adds up to a LOT of CD's.

I'm going to split them up between my two rooms. One room will house the old rap and rock that i no longer care to sully my hands with, and the other will contain all the mostly pop and electronic stuff i still like. Yeah. I have two rooms now.

Swank.

Twitter.

Behance Gallery.

LinkedIn.

Facebook.

CG Talk Gallery.

I heart Huckabee

I just heard a blurb on the radio in which Mike Huckabee claimed that there's a bible verse that explains everything. The parable of Abimalech and the Three Trees or something? Like, all of the trees declined to be King of the Trees because they were wise and sought not power over their fellow trees. Only the arrogant bramble-bush wished to be the King of the Trees, for it was loathsome and bore no fruit. What God is trying to say is that when a normal person tries to advance in government it's because they have an evil desire to "run everything." How vile, this lust for power! Huckabee then pivoted effortlessly and claimed that the only people who should ever be granted such power are those men who already have ludicrous amounts of wealth and power, those who were born to be Lords. I mean, logically, they already have such power that the lure of gaining more is just boring to them. They are the only ones who can be trusted.

On the basis of this, i would have to say that Mike Huckabee is a clinically insane, evil fuck. And Obama is an arrogant bramble-bush. Or something. I'm not entirely sure. Hey, do we have any more of that nutmeg? I'm coming down hard.

Marc on Twitter.

Behance Network.

LinkedIn.

Marc on Facebook.

CGTalk Gallery.

2013

Happy 2013 everyone!

Our goal for this year should be to not ever talk about apocalypses.  At least, to not ever talk about imaginary apocalypses.  Now if a giant asteroid is heading our way, or if the Yellowstone Caldera shows signs of blowing, then that's another thing.   Let's only talk about the world ending if there's some actual factor in reality that makes this feasible.

If someone digs up an ancient Babylonian calendar that ends on December 23rd, 2013, i'm going to start cutting people.

Marc on Twitter.

Behance Gallery.

LinkedIn.

Marc on Facebook.

CGTalk gallery.